AU in which Finn, Artie, Kurt, Puck, and Mike are an internationally-known boy band, The New Directions.
Sam, Blaine, Ryder, Jake, and Joe are a rival boy band, The 5 Experience.
it’s basically N*SYNC vs. the Backstreet Boys: constant drama over whose current single is doing better on the charts, fighting over whether Artie or Blaine is the better lead singer, dreams of them teaming up for the ultimate album/concert, etc.
boy band school supplies, and girls glaring at each other if they’re carrying a New Directions folder instead of a 5 Experience binder. then there are the girls who have BOTH and no one knows what to do with them.
people shorten the 5 Experience to 5Ex, and there’s DRAMA over how much the shortened name looks like “sex”. Parents send complaints to the record company. The guys all just stare in horror, except for Jake shrugs and is like “dude, I noticed this a LONG time ago.”
when it’s revealed that Puck and Jake are half-brothers, the press constantly asks them about sibling rivalry, especially since they were both already painted as “the bad boys” of their respective group. Jake galres and Puck flips them off.
it’s at this point that a substantial portion of the internet decides that it’s high time for a 5Ex + ND fandom. there is fanart of the groups as the Justice League. there are nude erections puns. there are memes about Mike’s abs, and Sam’s abs, and the abs going on sexy adventures. someone proposes a everyone-was-in-high-school-show-choir-together AU, and everyone pronounces it “the dumbest idea i’ve ever heard” before whipping out 75K fics.
TMZ breaking news says that Kurt and Blaine are dating and ALL. HELL. BREAKS. LOOSE. top 3 trending topics worldwide on twitter, tumblr goes down because it can’t handle the traffic, ONTD pronounces that the entire thing is a marketing scam. the punchline is that Kurt and Blaine aren’t actually dating
yet. they try to send out corrections, and no one believes them.
(“How is it that my fake relationship gets leaked to the press,” Kurt says to Finn, “while your real relationship with the world’s biggest female pop star was secret for over a year?”
"…Rachel is really good at distraction?" Finn says.
"I threatened to sue a lot of people," Rachel says.)
meanwhile Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Tina, and Quinn are the Troubletones, the girl group that went from nobodies to household names in the span of a month. Marley, Unique, and Kitty are a trio group like Destiny’s Child. Marley is the one to come up with the charity concert, and reaches out to Berry and the Troubletones and ND and 5Ex. it turns into a huge-ass televised-live extravaganza, and they all sing Don’t Stop Believing as the concert’s last song, and everyone in the audience in crying and they’re not entirely sure why.
This is it. This is the end, kids. I hit this post on my dash and I cannot bring myself to scroll any further or go back to the top because that would mean not looking at this post anymore and that is just not an option because it is GLORIOUS and every time I think I might be able to move away, I go through it one last time and I start laughing all over again. Yes. Yes they are, Sam.
Okay so I think Chris Evans was saying in an interview about how it’s always the children who discover the hero in disguise, and I just realized why: it’s because they’re short enough to see under the hat and they’re innocent and hopeful enough to still believe in heroes.
it’s because they’re short enough to see under the hat